You just got out of a relationship and regardless of how long it lasted, it still hurts. And they’re still on your mind. Or you’ve just met someone and think he or she is fantastic! But now you can’t get them off your mind. Or better yet, you’ve known someone for a bit of time but haven’t expressed yourself just yet (and perhaps think it’s better if you don’t). You have got to stop. Just stop. Easier said than done, but maybe these tips can help you to refocus and regain control of those thoughts.

1.       Get them off your Facebook

You don’t have to literally delete this person from your friends list. Facebook has wonderful privacy settings you will want to take advantage of. Go to the person’s profile, and change the notifications you receive from them. Especially if the person is active on Facebook posting statuses left and right. Their life updates in your news feed are not what you need right now. You can also turn off your chat for that person so you won’t know when he or she is online.

2.       Keep active

Get out of the house stat! Staring at the same four walls you’re familiar with will only allow for more interesting thoughts. Then the “what if” and “what could be” come about. If you have no way of getting out immediately, start cleaning, cooking, downsizing and donating, anything you can do to keep you moving. If you can, go catch a movie or hit the gym.

3.       Reconnect with neglected friends

Since you’ve been giving all your thoughts to this person, there’s a good chance you’ve neglected some of your friends or even lost them altogether. Contact them and go have a guys’ night or girls’ night out. Sometimes you just need a night at a bar, club, lounge, etc to be social with strangers. If it floats your boat, adhere to the modern adage: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. If nothing else, just have a fun night out. You don’t have to be looking for anything at all but to be out. It’s perfectly fine if you go home alone…and with new thoughts.

4.       Stop talking about the person

If you were previously talking to some friends about this person, let them know you don’t want to continue thinking about it and politely ask them not to ask for updates or bring up the person. This way, you won’t have to worry about being suddenly caught off-guard when a friend randomly brings up his or her name.

5.       Learn a new hobby

This is the perfect time for you to focus on #1: You! Pick up that hobby you thought about trying that one time. Join a meetup group to find others interested in the same thing. You might even discover a talent or interest you didn’t know you had before. Surrounding yourself with other people with other talents and thoughts is the best thing you can do during this time.

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